new town blues

I am a current sufferer of hay fever for the first time ever. Hay fever is so foreign to me that I didn't even realise I had it until I noticed my fluctuating "cold" symptoms. My cousin and I discuss what our parents must think of us from time to time. We moved away from all the luxuries of home (car, cable, decent wages...) to struggle in New York.

We make little wage (well, much less then what we would get in Sydney), live in shitty flats, have no clothes or wardrobe space and now I have hay fever. HAY FEVER. Of all the things I thought might be bothering me in my life right now, hay fever was never something that even crossed my mind. Its not a huge deal, but its an inconvenience that I never thought I would have to deal with. 

Moving to a new city is hard. I lucked out and got an amazing deal on an extremely decent apartment so I at least didn't have to deal with that. But New York is gross. Its dirty, loud and obnoxious. When people ask me why I wanted to move here I can honestly never think of a better answer other than "...because I like it..?" It sounds silly, but I do like it. I can't imagine living in Sydney again, at least for the next few years. The struggle is hard, and it's sometimes lonely but in the end I think it's worth it. I like gross things and you can't have fun without getting your hands dirty at least 75% of the time. And I am humored by obnoxiousness.

If you're wondering what I'm wearing in the above picture, its a Uniqlo dress. It actually shrank in the dryer, but I rewashed it and hung it on a hanger to dry vertically so now its a (semi) decent length. And for those who are wondering further - yes that is how I always look. Always unimpressed and always making judgements.

I'm a Slytherin

(Re: Pottermore) I don't know why I was so surprised to be sorted into Slytherin. At first I was upset, but then I thought about it and I realized:

a. my favorite color is green

b. I pride myself on my sneakiness

My friend also reminded me that Slytherin meant two more things:

c. it means I'm ambitious (I don't know how much this applies to me, I prefer to just fall into things)

d. there are "hot boys" in Slytherin

So I suppose when I think about it, its not a terrible house for me. And I always joke about being evil, so I guess now it's confirmed that there's at least some element of truth to it. I like to be tricky (I'd rather trick my way out of something rather than fight my way out) and I'm extremely loyal to my friends, and super apprehensive of new people (I won't lie, I'm extremely judgmental). 

I think/know I'm taking Harry Potter too seriously.

hairdresser shame

I finally took the plunge last night and decided it was time to get a new haircut. I had been thinking about getting a fringe for a while and the main thing that was holding me back was worrying about looking like a preteen Japanese school girl. This aesthetic works well for many, many girls, but I'm just not that enthusiastic about looking like a child, I think I'm too sarcastic and negative.

One thing I hate about going to the hairdressers is that they always make me feel ashamed at how little effort I actually put into my hair. I find myself lying about the most ridiculous things because I am embarrassed about the amount of time and dedication I put into what is essentially a permanent hat. The worst part is, even though I stretched the truth (I told her the last haircut I got was 8 months ago - in reality it was more like a year ago) she was still horrified at the time I let lapse between hair appointments.

I am not a loyal customer. I have never found a hairdresser that I feel comfortable talking to, and I have never found that that is comfortable not conversing with me. Am I the only one who feels it is no necessary to have a forced conversation with someone who is essentially a random person that just so happens to be touching my hair? It’s weird enough that they're touching me, let alone having to find mundane things to talk about. I'm more than happy to sit silently and enjoy the sounds of the salon.

I won't post a photograph (I'm not ready for that yet) but I will post a rather childish image that I conjured up on Photoshop which is deceptively simple looking (it took me maybe 45 minutes to make).